Your ability to look inwards determines your capability to look outwards with compassion, kindness, and understanding.
In my opinion, we need a hell of a lot more compassion, kindness, and understanding in the world today and in the future.
If you disagree, stop reading and move on to something you feel will be more valuable because this will do you absolutely no good; but know this, I wish you all best.
If you believe we need more of those things, read on, and I hope you enjoy my take on the importance of learning to look inwards instead of outwards.
Listen, it's effortless to look outward and point out what you believe others have done wrong or where they fall short of your or so-called society's expectations. As a matter of fact, most people do that regularly without even realizing they are doing it or that it's even an issue.
I know I've been guilty of this plenty of times. That's one of the main reasons I decided to write this short blog post.
It's much easier to point out what others are doing wrong or what they should have done with that particular situation. You see this behavior with your loved ones, friends, and work.
People are saying can you believe what so and so did? I would never do such a thing, and I know you all wouldn't either; I mean, how could someone ever do that? What were they thinking?
And the list goes on and on.
All of this is being done with no context on why someone did or said something, yet you are passing judgment as if you've never done anything wrong or that you sit on a higher pedestal in life than they do.
I want to be highly transparent; everyone has done this at some point in their life. As mentioned above, I include myself as I fully understand I'm a work in progress who's looking inward even as I write this blog.
So why do some people take the time to learn to look inwards while others stay stuck looking outwards, tossing shame around as if it makes them better than everyone else. At least in their minds, it does, which is a recipe for disaster.
Well, I'm here to do my part in changing the narrative. It's time to stop looking outwards and judging others and start learning how to look inwards to see how you can improve. Then, when the time comes to look outward, you will be able to do it with kindness and compassion instead of venom and disgust.
The only way real growth happens is when you learn to stop looking outwards for validation by judging others to make yourself feel better and start looking inwards at how you can become a better version of yourself.
After all, you are responsible for your actions and the only one who can change them. You cannot change anyone else, just yourself.
Listen, having those types of conversations with yourself can be very tricky and challenging, to say the least. Most of the time, you won't want to face the truth; quite frankly, it's because you do not know how to do it.
Here are three things that helped me in my journey to start learning how to become better at looking inwards and taking responsibility for my actions so when I look outwards, I can do it with compassion and kindness.
The first thing you need to understand is that your mind is hardwired to protect you, which can trick you into thinking it's better not to have those discussions.
Learn to observe your thoughts and not believe them. Of course, you will have hundreds and hundreds of thoughts every day, most of which are untrue. But, your mind tricks you into believing the ones that keep you in your comfort zone of not challenging who you are or how you do things.
Observing your thoughts will help you decipher which ones are true and which are not so you can deal with them accordingly. You'll be amazed at the results when you learn how to master this; it will give you the ability to take those difficult steps to improve your life in many areas.
Next is one of the most difficult ones, but I promise you can do it if you stick with it and don't give up. It's learning to recognize when you are about to make a judgment or are in the middle of making one, so you can catch yourself, pause, take a deep breath, then ask why you are focusing outward.
Only you will have the answer, but learning to do this will reveal behavioral patterns you may have never seen or noticed before doing this exercise. For example, you might discover you're trying to make yourself feel better, be part of a friend group or fit in at work.
Whatever you find out can help you address and overcome it. Because being someone you are not trying to make yourself feel better or fit into a group is only temporary, and it will eventually backfire.
Lastly, is learning to reflect on your past judgments and ask yourself why you made that judgment then? Again, experience is our best teacher, the only way to get experience is to do something.
You live forward but understand it backward, which is why looking back on your past experiences to see what or how you could have done things differently is so essential to your growth.
Let me be direct with you, the only way this will work is if you are honest with yourself, and if you are ever going to be honest with anyone, shouldn't it be you?
The challenging thing about self-reflection is when you are not honest with yourself; you are both the con artist and the one being conned. Think about that for a minute.
At the end of the day, being honest with yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and the people who matter most in your life.
If you enjoyed this post, please share it with someone you think would appreciate it.
As always, thank you for your time.
Be the Difference,