This may surprise some people who know me. But worrying about other people's opinions has always been a challenge. I know I'm not alone, which is why I'm writing this.
For me, it could be my good friends, family, or even stranger. As I'm writing this, I am thinking to myself, "did you just say stranger" yes, I did.
Over the years, I've learned. People are always going to have an opinion of you. No matter what you do or say, how you act or dress, someone will still form an opinion. NEWS FLASH. You also form impressions of other people; it's how the world works.
Why do we all do this? Great question; here is what I discovered in my research and what's worked for me.
I'm a big proponent of looking inward to find the answer. Here are a few things I found that seem to resonate with others.
- People's opinions usually come from a place of insecurity. When someone feels insecure about not being as good at something as the other person, not as bright or pretty, this is when we form an opinion to cover up our insecurity.
- It's not about you. It's about them. People tend to project their negative feelings and thoughts outward in an attempt to make them feel better. When in reality, it's just a short-term feeling to a long-term problem.
- We agree with someone else's opinion to be part of the in-crowd or fit in at work. "Yeah, I agree, Sally is simply not good for the team" when in reality they are.
- People are going to see what they want to see, and this includes you. I'm sure you and someone else have read or watched the same thing, yet you both see it differently.
Let's dig a little deeper into the meaning of the word opinion.
Merriam Webster definition: A view, judgment, or appraisal formed in the mind about a particular matter.
Did you see anything about facts or factual in that definition? Me neither! We all need to stop taking other people's opinions personally. It's just an opinion.
I know it doesn't feel good when people give you an opinion that may be hurtful or disrespectful to you. Let's face it, we all have emotions. It's no fun when we hear things we don't like or agree with about ourselves.
The best thing we can do is take the high road. Remember, it's just an opinion that should not affect your life.
I was recently at an event with friends and was introduced to several people; however, this one person kept looking at me with this perplexed look on their face. Every time I looked over at this person, they were staring at me with that damn look. I started to think, "what the hell did I do to that person," "do they know me," "did I make them mad" and I had to remind myself to let it go for the simple reason that at the end of the day, other peoples opinion of me is none of my business.
Opinions are something we all have and are consistently forming opinions whether we realize it or not. I'll give you a funny yet practical example of what I mean.
If you have ever flown Southwest Airlines, you know they have an open seating policy in which you board by A, B, and C groups. A goes first, followed by B, and then C boards last. If you are in the A group, you're first on the plane and get the seat of your choice, but you don't get to choose who sits next to you. As the B and C groups board, you (A group) start forming opinions as each person walks towards your row. You are thinking to yourself, "sit by me," "no, don't sit by me." Sometimes, I bet you don't even realize you are doing it. Conversely, when you're in the B or C group walking onto the plane, you are looking at people next to the empty seat and deciding on where to sit by the opinion you just formed of that person.
Oh boy, do I wish I could see the look on your face as you were reading that last sentence.
It does not matter what anyone says to your face, behind your back to other people because it's merely an opinion.
I try to live my life by this simple statement "other people's opinion of me is none of my business."
Here are ten tips to help you let other people's opinions roll off your back.
- It's their opinion and not your belief.
- The approval of others does not define your self-worth.
- They don't where you've been or where you are going on your journey.
- Trust your gut about who you are.
- You can never please everyone, never.
- What's right for you might not be suitable for someone else.
- Caring about other people's opinions can be painful and takes energy.
- Keep in mind what other people say or think about you is not necessarily about you.
- Taking the high road is always the better choice. Rise above!
- Let it go. You have no room in your life for nonsense.
Everyone is their own person and has a right to their opinion. They can do whatever they want, dress, or listen to the music they want. Just like you can do whatever you want.
We are all entitled to our own opinion, and it belongs to us.
Some people will like it, some will hate it, some will agree, and some will not. At the end of the day, does it matter to your well-being? NO, it certainly does not!!!
I appreciate you taking the time to read my post.
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