Seven Reasons why we are, who we are!

Do you ever wonder what makes you who we are? Why you are the way you are and why your family and friends are the way they are.

It's incredible to think about how many people are in this world (over 7.5 billion) today. We are all so different, yet we have many similarities; it's almost scary at times.

Think about how many people you have met in your life to date. Some of them

 you have an instant   bond or attraction to, and it seems   like you have known them   forever.   Others take time to warm up to and   realize you have a friendship or an   attraction to them. Then others   can't leave your life fast enough. 

I know that's a little harsh but true.

We are all unique. Why do we get along so well with some and not so well with others?

That's a great question and one I've studied for a long time. In my research, I found these seven reasons to be consistent and always top of mind because they've had the most significant impact on my life. 

Here are seven things that I believe make us who we are.  

Genetics - Ok, I get it; this one is a no-brainer and totally out of our control. We get what we get from our mother and father. The only thing we can do is work with what we have and make the most of it. Some of the things we get are physical such as eye color, hair color, and skin color. Other genes we're born with could cause us to have a higher or lower risk for certain diseases or medical conditions.

Whatever your genetics are, you were born this way, be proud of your heritage. It's what makes you so unique. If you haven't taken the time to look back at your heritage, I highly recommend you do. It helps provide some perspective, and you will come to appreciate who you are. 

Upbringing - This one is a little tricky. There's no book or manual on how to raise children. I would argue there is no exact way to raise them because everyone's value system is different. That being said, being kind to others should be a fucking no-brainer. I've never been a parent, but from what I've seen with my family. Parents take things from their childhoods and life experiences and do the best they can. Several things affect this, such as their religions, class (lower, middle, upper), or the time frame you are being raised. And let's not forget about all the conversations you overheard as a child, especially the ones you were not supposed to hear. Those truly affect your upbringing, and you most likely had no idea, 

It's important to remember; there's no one-size-fits-all. 

what's happened, and how they choose to deal with it going forward. So take a moment to think about what I just said... Two people can see the same thing and have a completely different interpretation of what happened.  

My life experiences have changed the way I view the world and my role in it.

For example, I went through some tough and challenging times in my life that have made me cautious and always waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Of course, I had to be careful because it could become a self-fulling prophecy. It took me a long time to recognize this, and sometimes I still catch myself falling back.

We all have our challenges, be respectful of other people's experiences. You never know what they've been through or are going through. 

Friends - Think about all the friends you've had over your lifetime. How have they impacted your life positively or negatively, and how many are you still friends with today? When I say friends, how many of them can you count on to be there for you no matter what? I'm not talking about your so called friends on social media, 

I truly believe people come into your life and leave your life for a reason. I must tell you I've questioned this theory several times before, especially when I lost my fiancée to cancer 21 years ago. It took me a long time to understand the impact she had on my life and the impression I had on hers. She completely changed my life, and I completely changed hers—both for the better. 

I've been fortunate to have some great friends in my life. They have helped me and continue to help me evolve and grow as a person. 

This is why I genuinely believe your friends are a big part of who you are. The old saying of surround yourself with the right people and the right things will happen. That's true, but make no mistake, you have to do the fucking work to make it happen; it won't just happen. 

Fears - Ever notice how your fears can paralyze you and prevent you from reaching your true potential? Think about that for a minute; I remember being a kid and riding my bike with the other kids in the neighborhood. They were all going over these big jumps on their bikes, and I was scared to do it. It took a lot of convincing and coaxing, but I finally did it. It felt so good that I did it again, and again, and again. Ok, I know you get the point.  

All I'm saying is that sometimes we let our fears stop us, and sometimes they motivate us. The sooner you become aware of when that happens, the better you will use fear to your advantage. 

Failures – Everyone fails at some point or another, but let me share something with you. Failure is not a failure in the traditional sense of the word. Instead, failure provides you the opportunity to learn and grow. If we didn't have failures, how could we ever appreciate our successes?

Now how you handle those failures (opportunities to learn and grow) makes you who you are. I've had some failures that took me a long time to come to grips with, take my lesson, and move on. I was too busy wallowing in my pity to pull myself outside the situation, but once I did, I was able to learn. 

You have to be careful not to let your failures stop you from learning and growing. Embrace them, even if it hurts to do so, because everyone goes through them.

I have learned more from my failures than I've ever learned from my successes.

Successes - When you succeed, you feel good, have a pep in your step like nothing can stop you. During those times of success is when you are apt to take more challenges in your life. Some of those challenges will bring you even more success, while others will result in failures.

The bottom line is that our successes drive us out of our comfort zone, which is a good thing. But, unfortunately, the only thing that grows in your comfort zone is your apathy. 

I feel it's vital to take time to celebrate your successes. Allow yourself to feel good about what you've accomplished. It doesn't mean you rub it in other people's faces. There's no need for that.

These are my thoughts and opinions, not facts. Nevertheless, it's how I see things through my lens, so if this does not resonate with you, I understand. And if it does, please share it with someone whom you feel would benefit. 

Thank you for your time to read the post. It means a lot to me because I know you can never get it back. 

Best,

Paul.                  
@ZUP2U

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