Welcome to the third post in this series. If you have not read the first two posts, what it takes to be the difference in your life or four steps it takes to start being the difference in your life. Please take a moment to go back and read this before reading this one.
Fear is a part of life; it is something you will face many times. Sometimes you can look fear in the face and say not today. Other times you might be afraid to even look at it or address the fear in hopes it goes away.
What do you do when the latter happens, and better yet, do you know why you react that way?
There are several acronyms for fear; here is how I think about it.
Face Everything And Reward (yourself): This is where fear loses. You are not afraid at all, and you look at it directly in the face, let it know there is no place in your atmosphere, and say it’s time to leave.
Forget Everything And Run (away): This is where you let fear win. You are afraid of this fear; for some reason, you are not as confident, and you do everything in your power to pretend it doesn’t exist, and you get as far away as you can.
Why can you face one fear so well and the other one you can’t face at all?
There’s one common denominator of why fear wins and losses. I will cover that later, then give you some tools to help you be fearless. The fear that has you running for the hills has many possible reasons.
This is your first time facing this fear, and it’s completely natural to have reservations. Facing something for the first time can be scary, but facing it will make you stronger regardless of the outcome.
You believe this type of fear has beaten you before, and you’re not sure you can handle another loss like that again. I can’t blame you, who wants to relive a bad experience. Yes, I said believe for a reason.
You’ve faced this fear before, and you expected a different outcome. It’s ok to have expectations, but you must understand expectations usually lead to disappointment.
Lastly, you don’t believe you deserve success, so you’re not even going to bother to face your fears. It’s just better for you to stay in your comfort zone. The only thing that ever grows in a comfort zone is your apathy. That may be something you want to write down.
The first thing you need to understand is no one wins all the time, NO ONE!!
Our failures in life are disguised as lessons, and if you won all the time, you would never appreciate it. Failures are there to teach us how to be a better person and appreciate our wins.
Here are some strategies to help you become fearless.
First, every scenario I mentioned above all comes down to your mindset. Your mind is so powerful, and all it wants to do is protect you. That’s why I say it’s so important to observe your thoughts, not believe them.
Become aware of your mindset when dealing with fear—your mindset matters. As a matter of fact, your mindset matters with everything you do in life.
Let me explain, the only one who controls how you react to any situation in life is you. And how you react is based on your life experiences because everyone sees life through a different lens.
The good news is, you can improve on how you react to any situation once you become aware of what triggers you’ve had in life.
Next time you don’t feel like you can face your fears, pause, write these questions down, then answer them. I’m asking you to write and answer these questions on paper so you can genuinely analyze your thoughts.
- Why are you facing this fear? Going after a promotion, starting something new, etc.
- Next, what is causing you to be fearful of this situation? For example, you never faced this fear before; my past experiences were not good, self-limiting beliefs (authority figure said you were not good enough, etc.
- What’s the worst that will happen if you fail? You’re not going to get the job; you don’t get the results you wanted, etc.
- What will happen If you do nothing? You will stay right where you are and won’t grow.
Now, look at your answer for question one, then ask yourself if your why is truly in the driver’s seat? If it is, then questions two through four are so much easier to navigate. If it does not align or directly affect your why you might want to ask yourself why you are doing it.
Next, analyze each layer of your fear to gain a complete understanding of why the fear is there. When you break it down, it will allow you to address each layer by itself, and you will see it’s something you can overcome.
The next one is pretty self-explanatory, but honestly, it’s the one question we forget to ask ourselves. We have to control our mindset, not the fear.
Lastly, doing nothing is the worst thing you can do,
When you take the time to think about your life, the best things come when you test yourself, not when you sit back and do nothing. You already know this from your past life experiences.
Paying it forward is something I talk about and do all the time. So, with that in mind, I would like you to take a moment and think of a time when you faced your fears. Share it in the comment section of this post. You never know who you might inspire to face their fears.
Thank you for taking the time – I feel so fortunate and blessed to share this life-changing information with you.
Paul – ZUP2U